How defining ourselves can change our lives
Definition of self by self
It’s crazy living in a world full of (social) media with so many definitions of things like succes, the best lifestyle, choices, values, deciding your future, defining your destiny, your path and so on. There are days where we might catch ourselves running, trying to live up to the expectations of the world.
At the end of the day living under pressure or in can lead leads to negative attitudes towards ourselves. You might feel like you are not enough, not understood, tired, frustrated, comparing, not connected, not in place.
On the other hand it is a normal human response to try to be a part of a group. It is human instinct adjust sometimes, so we can be a part of a group in order for us to feel safe and not being attacked.
I have always wanted to know who I am and I’ve spent years and years searching for that answers in others. There are a lot of external forces that influence our definition of self such as teachers, parents, ex lovers, (old) friends but what is really true to you? What is authentic and what do I want to own up?
I’m sitting back and re-evaluating my definition without putting limitations on myself. If I would leave that up to people I would be sucked out to turn into something they want me to be. In this journey I have found myself never finding myself but just constantly adjusting myself. Chasing I pass for that.
Defining ourselves will change our lives. It will leave us less stressed about what we need to be, do and actually happy with what we already are and what we choose to become. When we feel connected to our most authentic self, we are more porductive, creative and happy. Being connected or working on that connection, will eventually lead us to our purpose in life, our dreams, our best lives.
You will never be enough, if you do not decide what is enough.
How are others supposed to understand you, if you do not speak your truths.
You will never celabrate happiness, growth, love, succes if you do not define those verbs.
You will never fill yourself if you try to keep on feeding on other people’s baskets they nurture themself with.
So the question is: What is my definition of myself?
I know that goes deep and how in the hell are you going to awnser that? Maybe this is the first time you ask yourself this question. Don’t worry girl, I got you. Let’s break this down and make it practical by some examples exercises.
- List of Joy or anything
Brainstorm on the things that bring you joy. Things that you can do for YOU. Everytime something new pops up, you can just add it to your list. By creating a list of joy you see what you do for you. Not for others or the world but for you. My words are not trying to say you are the activities you do but you are what you do for you. The work and love you invest in yourself, the way you view yourself. Simply brainstorming is a good beginning of starting to define things like succes, carreer, beauty, happiness, love, You can also take the word Joy away and simply replace it with other subjects.
- Practice Affirmations
Okay so now you have a huge list of things that bring you joy or how you define beauty, succes, love. What now? How do I translate that into the external world? I still feel the pressure from the outsid.I am trying to shed what I thought I was, but how do I stay close to myself without hurting others?
It is hard to shed old skin and try to grow a new one. That takes time and practice. what works for me is to turn your definitions into affirmations. when you affirm something, you declare it to be true. As we start to repeat these affirmations, we grow into seeing the truth in them internally, we start to live through these affirmations externally. Our actions change and this is how your definitions will translate into the external world. I like go through my affirmations in the morning. The way we start our day sets the tone for that day(we’ll talk about that another time). Saying these things to myself, even though it takes time to believe them, makes it sure that I will always have that perspective of myself with me. By committing to this process, I feel happy that I am investing in myself and not in what others want from me.
Affirmations for Self defnition:
I am enough to define my own self
I am whole with everything that I am
I put definitions behind words from my point of view to create a reality that I am willing to live in
I realise everybody has a different perspectives and it is okay
I am not defined by society standards or other people’s opinions
I am open to other peoples visions but I am the one that decides what I let into my head space, energy and heart
I do not own the world anything, I am allowed to be (myself)
I am not lost
I am exploring
I am owning up to a freedom
that was always mine.
LOVE ‘N LIGHT,
Swendeline
ON SELF LOVE 